In life we all make promises and we all break some of our promises, but there are just some promises you know not to break. I understand that its hard to break some bad habits but if you were asked by the one you say "you love the most", don't you think you would or at least try with all you have?
I just don't get it. I have asked and asked for you to stop and yet you stop one bad habit and go to another one that isn't much different from the one you just stopped. I don't asked for much and I feel like if you truly cared about my feelings and your family's then you would try harder and you would keep your promise instead of letting us down.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Payton Michael Mead
Where did I go wrong??????
Payton was the perfect baby. He was so happy and always cheery even if he didn't sleep. Even as a toddler he was the best little boy and he has always just been so good.
Something has changed and I need to know what so I can fix it. This week has not been a very good week for my little man. He has had to owe Mrs.Henry tickets everyday and Friday was the worst. He had no more tickets left and had to owe time in the circle for recess which he owed so much time that he actually didn't get to have recess. He told his whole class that he was going to to live at school so he could do what he wanted cause it was his home now and that I was not his mom anymore. Now this had not been the first time that I've been fired from my mommy role. Payton fired me a couple weeks ago when I was helping out in his class and I forget what exactly happened but I was fired and I actually think he asked Mrs. Henry if she could be his mom.lol. I know I have to be strong and stick to my guns with him but I feel that hes pushing all of my buttons just to see how far I will go.
But hes not all bad and Payton is a very caring funny boy who is just that, a BOY. He loves to play in the dirt and his big thing right now is Legos. Payton is a kid who hates wearing clothes and actually so does Maddy, not sure why the Mead kids hate wearing clothes but OK. Back to Payton, I just want my sweet little boy back to giving loves and wanting to be held and have his back rubbed while I sang to him. I'm just going to have to lock him in his room with me in it and wait till he changes back to his old self.
HA HA HA HA HA (EVIL LAUGH)
I hate my "lady time"!!!!
Is there a reason why its so miserable?????? And why don't guys get to experience the pain and suffering we go through. Its like a good week before i get my "lady time" and i get cramps and bloating and i feel like Ive been preggers for 1000 years. And theres Michael so happy and cheery that i just want to punch him where the sun don't shine so he can be just as miserable. Then when i finally do get my "lady time" I'm still in pain but add never wanting to get out of bed to it. I just wish that for the 4 days that i have it that it will never come back but by a big surprise its back 28 days later.
I've always wonder what i was in my before life and if i was a man, if i took that for granted and that why i became a woman in this life? I wish i could go back and fix what i had done then, so now i wouldn't have to go through all this yuckiness. I just keep praying that menopause is on its way and this suffering can stop.
I've always wonder what i was in my before life and if i was a man, if i took that for granted and that why i became a woman in this life? I wish i could go back and fix what i had done then, so now i wouldn't have to go through all this yuckiness. I just keep praying that menopause is on its way and this suffering can stop.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
carseats
Is there a reason why it took 4 hours yesterday to find Maddy a booster seat? Madison and I went out around 4 and it took us forever to find a car seat. Well actually it took us forever to find one that was in stocked. We went to Target first and Maddy was so happy when she saw the hot pink car seat with rainbows and hearts on it. We asked for some help cause there wasn't a box under the display one. The women looked it up and they wouldn't have it back in stock for another week. Maddy then proceeded to cry and we quickly got out of there.We then went to sears and I found the cutest one I'd ever seen. It was light green and pink and there were flowers. It was just too cute. But Maddy said NO!!!
We went to Walmart and found another really cute car seat but no box. So we looked and looked and looked for someone to help us. We finally found someone but she had no clue on anything. And said the women who works in that department was at lunch for an HOUR. Really that long??? so we left and again Maddy was crying.
At this point I was done, tired and at my wits end with Maddy who was now cranky and done shopping but still wanted to buy her car seat.
Theres a Kmart in Manhattan that I always forget about so we went over there to look. They had a car seat, finally and not only that but it was the cutest out of them all. And it was $20 less then all the others. (i love sales) I grab the box and Maddy and I finally got to go home. Lets just say I AM NEVER SHOPPING FOR ANOTHER CAR SEAT EVER.
We went to Walmart and found another really cute car seat but no box. So we looked and looked and looked for someone to help us. We finally found someone but she had no clue on anything. And said the women who works in that department was at lunch for an HOUR. Really that long??? so we left and again Maddy was crying.
At this point I was done, tired and at my wits end with Maddy who was now cranky and done shopping but still wanted to buy her car seat.
Theres a Kmart in Manhattan that I always forget about so we went over there to look. They had a car seat, finally and not only that but it was the cutest out of them all. And it was $20 less then all the others. (i love sales) I grab the box and Maddy and I finally got to go home. Lets just say I AM NEVER SHOPPING FOR ANOTHER CAR SEAT EVER.
My dear Mrs.Henry
Last week I walked into Mrs. Henry's class room like I do everyday to volunteer and I had mentioned my day wasn't going very well, when she then said well then don't come over to me and she wouldn't even look my way, I just knew she didn't have good news.
I couldn't have asked for a better kindergarten teacher for Payton. Hes above the average in every subject thanks to Mrs.Henry. I had no idea that my little man would be reading by Christmas time and the joy he has at school only confirms that Mrs. Henry brings joy and fun to leaning. So its only natural that Michael and I couldn't wait for her to teach Madison next year.
Well its now not going to happen. Hint the bad news. Mrs Henry got asked to go to second grade and for some reason she choose to say yes. Shes been teaching kindergarten now for 5 years and she started out teaching 2nd grade but why couldn't she have waited next year to change? It would of worked out because she would have had Payton again. But no she jumped the gun and now my poor little Maddy wont have the best kindergarten teacher ever and we all now Maddy needs all the help she can get. lol.
I was little upset at first but because I feel like we have build this great friendship, I only hope for the best for her. Mrs. Henry did mentioned that "we" will have fun and it will be easier for "us" to teacher the second graders. I am truly touched that she still wants me to help her in her class even though I wouldn't have a child in the class. If only she knew I would follow her to the moon and back. lol. I love volunteering and helping out for any teacher who needs it but Mrs. Henry makes me want to come back everyday and just watching her share her joy of life and learning on to her children makes it just a pure pleasure. We have been very blessed that Payton had her as his first teacher and we can only hope that we get the chance to have our children get her again down the road.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Fallen lights!!!!!!!!
So the last two days have been hard on me and last night was the topping on the cake!
Michael had to work yesterday but we had decided to go to Manhattan after he got home so we could go buy him some more of the Polo's that were on sale at footlocker. We had made a plan that we would eat a big snack before we left so we wouldn't be hungry and eat out. The kids and I had followed the plan. We ate and ate till we were all very stuffed. Michael on the other had not followed the plan and hadn't eaten when he got home.
We are now out shopping and we get all we came for and little extra when Michael tells the kids we can eat at HUHUT, I quickly say no and then he says fine McDonald's. Really, Really??????? The idea was so we save money not spend it and I had dinner all planned but then there was 3 against one and someone I became the bad guy. So to make everyone happy I said lets go to Applebees. (even though I was full and so were the kids) It was a nice dinner.
We then needed to stop by Target on our way home to get Maddy some meds to make her feel better. I took Maddy in and the boys stayed in the car. I will confuss that Maddy and i took our time looking around. We get back to the car and the first thing Payton says "I POOPED MY PANTS!!!!!!" All I can do is look at Michael. He says Payton never told him till he pooped but Payton says he tried telling him twice before he couldn't hold it anymore. So Payton when we got home went straight to the shower and I had the privilege of flushing the baseball size poop down the toilet which then clogged. Then with my back scrubber (which I used to use)I had to wash Payton's boy parts, which were covered in you know what. there was no way I was going to use a wash cloth that could of fallen or slipped and my hand accidentally touch something nasty. cause he had sat in it for 30 mins. All I kept thinking was please let this night get over fast.
I think we were all tired and cranky by that time. But I noticed that our out door lights had gotten lowered and tried to fix it myself. I tried to stand on our chairs but being 5'4 it wasn't happening, so I yelled for Michael's help. I told him to just do what I did and balanced on the two chairs. He said "you better not let go of these chairs" in his Micheal's voice. As any wife would I assured him I had it under control and just to focus on the lights. He was having troubles reaching himself and was doing really nothing. So I being a good helper, kept telling him what to do and as I was in the middle of say something..... POP POP POP, Michael had accidentally let go of the strand of GLASS bulb lights and 4 had broken. So out of reflects I go to grabs the flying lights and let go of the chairs in which then Micheal's hung on the wall like a cat who's about to fall into water. As hes falling he yells "you let go of the f**king chairs". I go back to grabbing the chairs yelling the "f**king lights were falling and now looked at what you've done". He gets down and says that was a stupid idea and then I said f*** you and he went inside and I was crying outside. All I could think was great now our neighbors have heard us yelling like we lived in a trailer park and I have half a strand of lights that I still want to hang. Looking back now its funny but last night was a night that I hope doesn't happen for another 7 years.lol
Michael had to work yesterday but we had decided to go to Manhattan after he got home so we could go buy him some more of the Polo's that were on sale at footlocker. We had made a plan that we would eat a big snack before we left so we wouldn't be hungry and eat out. The kids and I had followed the plan. We ate and ate till we were all very stuffed. Michael on the other had not followed the plan and hadn't eaten when he got home.
We are now out shopping and we get all we came for and little extra when Michael tells the kids we can eat at HUHUT, I quickly say no and then he says fine McDonald's. Really, Really??????? The idea was so we save money not spend it and I had dinner all planned but then there was 3 against one and someone I became the bad guy. So to make everyone happy I said lets go to Applebees. (even though I was full and so were the kids) It was a nice dinner.
We then needed to stop by Target on our way home to get Maddy some meds to make her feel better. I took Maddy in and the boys stayed in the car. I will confuss that Maddy and i took our time looking around. We get back to the car and the first thing Payton says "I POOPED MY PANTS!!!!!!" All I can do is look at Michael. He says Payton never told him till he pooped but Payton says he tried telling him twice before he couldn't hold it anymore. So Payton when we got home went straight to the shower and I had the privilege of flushing the baseball size poop down the toilet which then clogged. Then with my back scrubber (which I used to use)I had to wash Payton's boy parts, which were covered in you know what. there was no way I was going to use a wash cloth that could of fallen or slipped and my hand accidentally touch something nasty. cause he had sat in it for 30 mins. All I kept thinking was please let this night get over fast.
I think we were all tired and cranky by that time. But I noticed that our out door lights had gotten lowered and tried to fix it myself. I tried to stand on our chairs but being 5'4 it wasn't happening, so I yelled for Michael's help. I told him to just do what I did and balanced on the two chairs. He said "you better not let go of these chairs" in his Micheal's voice. As any wife would I assured him I had it under control and just to focus on the lights. He was having troubles reaching himself and was doing really nothing. So I being a good helper, kept telling him what to do and as I was in the middle of say something..... POP POP POP, Michael had accidentally let go of the strand of GLASS bulb lights and 4 had broken. So out of reflects I go to grabs the flying lights and let go of the chairs in which then Micheal's hung on the wall like a cat who's about to fall into water. As hes falling he yells "you let go of the f**king chairs". I go back to grabbing the chairs yelling the "f**king lights were falling and now looked at what you've done". He gets down and says that was a stupid idea and then I said f*** you and he went inside and I was crying outside. All I could think was great now our neighbors have heard us yelling like we lived in a trailer park and I have half a strand of lights that I still want to hang. Looking back now its funny but last night was a night that I hope doesn't happen for another 7 years.lol
Friday, April 9, 2010
When enough is going to be enough??????
This blog is more of a vent type blog.
I know that not all people get along and sometimes you marry into families you wish you hadn't. But how much do you have to take as a person till you completely want to explode? As most of you know Michael's mother and I don't see eye to eye. It has been 7 years of nonstop ups and downs and you've done that or you do this. So about 1 1/2 years ago I made it easy on both of us, I stoped talking to her all together. I only wish she had gotten the clue.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize there was something wrong in your house hold if your 17 year old son joined the Marnie's to get away from it all and choose to go all the way to HI. Trust me there were problems long before I came into the picture. So I'm not sure why you decided to blame me for all of your family problems. Lets see your brother didn't talk to you in decades, you married someone who beat your child, and you blame the world for your problems nd you never do anything wrong, poor poor me!!!!!!!
I find it sicking that you are so jealous over your daughter-in law that you hang all over your son when you had family gatherings. In your sick mind you were fighting for attention when there wasn't a need for it. The type of loves are different and if you cant see that then you have way bigger problems then I thought. If you have so much guilt over your life decisions then take it up with a shrink. but there is no need to call your son crying over and over and over again. He has moved on and has learned from it.
So I may sound like I'm being real mean right now but 7 years is so long to hear about the same issues over and over again. I am not a person who lets another cause destruction in her life. I am someone who is strong and outspoken and I was raised to treat people with respect but don't you dare try to tell my husband how bad I am and how I have affected your relationship with him cause that is all bs. I don't know how many times I have tried to be the bigger person and not responded back to all your cruel emails which are as long as a short novel. You have some many times put me down and for what????? I truly feel that Michael's mom cant get over that I don't feel sorry for her and how her life has turned out. And news flash, Michael is 28 years old, if he doesn't want to answer his phone when you call, there is nothing I can do about it. If you ever took the time just to ask how hes doing instead of yelling right when he answers you might get him to answer more often. Just adding.
I haven't talked to you in over a year and yet someone I am the subject in your emails or conversations. Get over it. I don't care about you or your stupid issues. All you do is put me down over and over again. I am not a bad person and I get so hurt thinking that there is someone out there bashing me every chance she gets. I am just tried of her meaniness and i want to surround myself with people who love me like my friends and family. I thank you all for loving me for me.
I know that not all people get along and sometimes you marry into families you wish you hadn't. But how much do you have to take as a person till you completely want to explode? As most of you know Michael's mother and I don't see eye to eye. It has been 7 years of nonstop ups and downs and you've done that or you do this. So about 1 1/2 years ago I made it easy on both of us, I stoped talking to her all together. I only wish she had gotten the clue.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize there was something wrong in your house hold if your 17 year old son joined the Marnie's to get away from it all and choose to go all the way to HI. Trust me there were problems long before I came into the picture. So I'm not sure why you decided to blame me for all of your family problems. Lets see your brother didn't talk to you in decades, you married someone who beat your child, and you blame the world for your problems nd you never do anything wrong, poor poor me!!!!!!!
I find it sicking that you are so jealous over your daughter-in law that you hang all over your son when you had family gatherings. In your sick mind you were fighting for attention when there wasn't a need for it. The type of loves are different and if you cant see that then you have way bigger problems then I thought. If you have so much guilt over your life decisions then take it up with a shrink. but there is no need to call your son crying over and over and over again. He has moved on and has learned from it.
So I may sound like I'm being real mean right now but 7 years is so long to hear about the same issues over and over again. I am not a person who lets another cause destruction in her life. I am someone who is strong and outspoken and I was raised to treat people with respect but don't you dare try to tell my husband how bad I am and how I have affected your relationship with him cause that is all bs. I don't know how many times I have tried to be the bigger person and not responded back to all your cruel emails which are as long as a short novel. You have some many times put me down and for what????? I truly feel that Michael's mom cant get over that I don't feel sorry for her and how her life has turned out. And news flash, Michael is 28 years old, if he doesn't want to answer his phone when you call, there is nothing I can do about it. If you ever took the time just to ask how hes doing instead of yelling right when he answers you might get him to answer more often. Just adding.
I haven't talked to you in over a year and yet someone I am the subject in your emails or conversations. Get over it. I don't care about you or your stupid issues. All you do is put me down over and over again. I am not a bad person and I get so hurt thinking that there is someone out there bashing me every chance she gets. I am just tried of her meaniness and i want to surround myself with people who love me like my friends and family. I thank you all for loving me for me.
My little maddy
Its so funny to me that my daughter is so weird. She says the funniest things like this morning, Maddy told me she didn't want her arm hair and i should try and get it off. (Michael was in the room with us and started to tell her what she could do to get rid of it but i cleared my throat super loud so he would stop talking.) But what 4 year wants her hair gone. Madison also makes weird noises. Like if she wants something shell get down to a puppy stand and look at us and shell start to puppy cry. Its so funny. Should i talk about her fashion sense or a lack of? She thinks everything has to match!! Which is a little too much at times. The other week she came out with a hot pink skirt on and a matching to the tee hot pink shirt. It was overwhelming and she said she looked good.
Madison's also my little girly girl. She loves watching Dancing With the Stars with me. She calls it our fashion show. And shell judge all the ladies in what they are wearing and we sit there agreeing or disagreeing with each other about their outfits. Sometimes i forget shes 4 and that maybe i shouldn't get into tiffs with her and just let her win. Its funny how time has flown by. I can still remember the year that she called me Ashley and the 6 months that she didn't want to talk so she pointed or drew pictures of what she wanted.
Life has always been interesting with little Maddy. I can only hope it gets a little calmer as she gets older But i doubt it.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Losing my weight is hard
Why why why why??? I have been very good lately with what I have eaten and I hit the gym everyday so I'm just confuse in why I ha vent lost anymore weight. Last night I did the dang Elliptical for 50 mins and burned 400 calories. I feel good inside for working as hard as I have and for really making this a life style change instead of just a diet. But gosh dang it, I want to lose the weight.
They say to weigh yourself in the morning cause its when you will weigh the less but its the same weight for me but Michael on the other hand is a stupid boy who can lose 10 pounds in one week and all he has to do is a simple Atkins diet. Now I bet ur saying then just do Atkins Ashley, well I cant. I tried a few months back with Michael and I got all shaky and sick. I love carbs and it was hard at first to give them up but I did, that wasn't the problem. The problem was I don't enjoy really eating meat. And when you do the Atkins diet, its meat and green veggies and cheeses. So pretty much during the day I ate veggies and cheese. It wasn't enough andI just got sick.
I love my diet plan now but i want to see all the hard work I've been doing payoff.
They say to weigh yourself in the morning cause its when you will weigh the less but its the same weight for me but Michael on the other hand is a stupid boy who can lose 10 pounds in one week and all he has to do is a simple Atkins diet. Now I bet ur saying then just do Atkins Ashley, well I cant. I tried a few months back with Michael and I got all shaky and sick. I love carbs and it was hard at first to give them up but I did, that wasn't the problem. The problem was I don't enjoy really eating meat. And when you do the Atkins diet, its meat and green veggies and cheeses. So pretty much during the day I ate veggies and cheese. It wasn't enough andI just got sick.
I love my diet plan now but i want to see all the hard work I've been doing payoff.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Military wives as friends
Being a military wife for seven years, I have seen the bad and good in the other wives. A few years ago before Michael deployed I had a great group of friends. There was about 5 of us and it was a blast all the time when we got together. We got much closer once the guys left and there were just us wives left. But during the deployment all the shading women came out to play. As a "point of contact" for their company I heard all of the stories and couldn't believe what these ladies were doing as their husbands were over seas. None of my friends were in that group but it did make me look at everyone a little different. The men got home and well pretty much all of my girlfriends moved away, but the nice part is we all have kept in touch and we still all care for each other very much.
It had been a couple of years til I had found a great friend again, Amanda. Her and her family were the perfect fit with us. Oh my gosh I have never seen Michael like somebody as fast as he did with Chris. I believe that Amanda and I were destined to be friends and I hold a special spot for her in my heart. it was like we had known each other for years when we started talking. She likes everything I like and the funny part is she does her house like I do. We think very very much alike.But I got close to her and then they moved. It made me then think about do I really want to make friends again when I know we will just have to say goodbye?
Well I cant fight my personality and I have become friends with these two very funny ladies, Terri and Nicole. We just laugh when we get together and I can finally have that sense of being a girlfriend again. And the nice part is we are all a little different but we have the same values in our marriages and being moms that we can relate to each other. I can tell we are going to have many fun adventures together.
But there are some trashy ladies in Madison class that give military wives a bad name. These ladies look like trash and talk like trash and oh my gosh, dresses like trash. Some of them do not prefer me because they told some lies and I made a point in pointing out their lies.
I suppose in all the friendships I've had and all that I've lost that I shouldn't be afraid in making friends but en braces their friendships and just remind myself that no drama is a better way of living and that goes with friendships too.
The start of the blog
Okay so I thought starting the blog would be easy and not a problem and I'd get on right away and start typing. Well that didn't happen, plus Michael kept getting more and more angry at me that I couldn't get this started on my own. Look here I am not a smart cookie when it comes to technology and it takes me forever to figure something out, so instead of telling what to do and then getting annoyed that I am taking forever to do the thing you told me to do, JUST DO IT YOURSELF. It would save me time and yourself time.And its not that imporant to myself if I learn or not learn how to do it. In my head I am busy thinking about dinner or what Maddys going to wear to school. You would think after seven years of being married to me that Michael would of figured this out by now. Guess not!!!
New day, equals new madness
It started this morning at 2 am when Bella decided to bark for 15 minutes. Then around the same time Payton came into bed with us. I am now in between Michael who already takes up half the bed and Payton who moves and kicks every other second. Lets just say when I got up this morning at 7 I was happy to be out of that bed. Payton on the other hand told me that school was close and he didn't have to go. When I asked why his school was closed he told me that the Principal wanted a play day and there was no school. (5 minutes later he was in his shower and I was making his lunch)
I was happy when he left for school because I didn't have to hear him saying he didn't want to go, but then there was Michael who sat next to me and started his wining about not wanting to go to work. In my head I thought REALLY!!!!! I just got done dealing with one who didn't want to leave and now I have to deal with the 28 year old version at 8 in the morning.On top of all of that I was trying to figure out this whole blogging thing out and if anyone knows me they know that computers, internets, and cell phones do not like me and I think they are only a fad. Now Michael on the other hand is very smart with technology and can pretty much do anything. With knowing that about Michael you would think he would just sit next to me knowing I was going to ask a hundred questions on how to get started. But no. He decided to get up and then I would ask for help and he would have to come back over to me and I could just tell he was thinking who in the world gave Ashley this idea to blog and where can I find them to kill them.
It is only 10 in the morning now and I have feed Maddy twice and taken a shower and have tried cleaning up but I just keep thinking to myself that today is going to be just one of those day that I wish hurried and got over with but then ill be laying in bed tonight thinking how did the time fly by? I cant even figure myself out. OYE
I was happy when he left for school because I didn't have to hear him saying he didn't want to go, but then there was Michael who sat next to me and started his wining about not wanting to go to work. In my head I thought REALLY!!!!! I just got done dealing with one who didn't want to leave and now I have to deal with the 28 year old version at 8 in the morning.On top of all of that I was trying to figure out this whole blogging thing out and if anyone knows me they know that computers, internets, and cell phones do not like me and I think they are only a fad. Now Michael on the other hand is very smart with technology and can pretty much do anything. With knowing that about Michael you would think he would just sit next to me knowing I was going to ask a hundred questions on how to get started. But no. He decided to get up and then I would ask for help and he would have to come back over to me and I could just tell he was thinking who in the world gave Ashley this idea to blog and where can I find them to kill them.
It is only 10 in the morning now and I have feed Maddy twice and taken a shower and have tried cleaning up but I just keep thinking to myself that today is going to be just one of those day that I wish hurried and got over with but then ill be laying in bed tonight thinking how did the time fly by? I cant even figure myself out. OYE
My first post
As a wife to a solider and a mother to two young children. Our life is never dull. We are always doing something here or going there plus the unplanned military events,I also volunteer in Payton’s class 4 days a week, which is a whole new blog in itself. And with all that we do you just don’t know whats next. So I thought how much fun it would be to blog about my ups and downs with my silly family. And now I’ve added losing 30 lbs to the list of things to do, I can feel its going to be an adventure.
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